Here is the post that I promised you, the "light".
Start, however, with thanks directed to an avid reader of the blog (the marathon for those who know), which has made possible, in some way, the survival of this blog, and to put it mildly, of course, today's publication of this post. It 'began the new year, but January 1, after a certain hour, my computer has not wanted to know more of the network. The marathon runner has, however, first identified the problem and then, he has solved. What was? the fact is that with some of his computer systems (operating), at times, puts you ahead of the gates (gates in English, namely Bill), which seem insurmountable the users' homemade DIY as I am. The information you receive at that point, esoteric matters, ergo prohibited for the non-elect. Because such systems (operating) unstable, it's you to become more unstable and, at that moment, take a hammer those gates in front of you, especially in hardware and software.
ad like this (to the delight of other blog readers) that, with the next purchase, I'm really into the forbidden, whose symbol is the apple is known (to put it here in English, apple).
But now you all for the posts and this marathon and the special dedication that will remain in the blog, because as I wrote last post, are the friends, who, by their presence give this journey called life, the taste of happiness.
But now you all for the posts and this marathon and the special dedication that will remain in the blog, because as I wrote last post, are the friends, who, by their presence give this journey called life, the taste of happiness.
E 'come Epiphany and as the saying goes "it takes away all the parties." Already the holidays! Everyone has the past in its own way, will have access to various types of alternatives with family dinners, dinners or dances "family away from home", either alone or with friends, at home, on vacation, etc.. But even in the face of alternatives more or less standard, each of us leaves the parties in a different way, having had similar experiences, but subjectively different from those experienced by other co-celebrating. To put it, paraphrasing the title of a Pirandello parties thus become one, not one hundred thousand, depending from the point of view.
However, despite this diversity, there are situations that we all pretty much lived and I'm going to tell. Unique in the context , ie Dinner and meeting with relatives .
In any dinner "parental" self-respecting, the house is divided into various "social areas" 1) There is area of \u200b\u200bthe story of myths, legends and chronicles, the knowledge regarding various . This area, if present, is usually placed near the fireplace. E 'frequented by the matriarchy, to which every year, plus the former young family (to enter the area is virtually a rite initiation and determining the passage from youth to the presenile). This area is frequented by women, except the approach of some misguided man, to name but a joke is then dragged into discussions and accounts for no more out even at midnight (the birth of our Lord, or next year which is ). Typical events are the subject of acquaintances, dating back to modern times, but you can also get in touch events dating back to the Mesozoic, Paleozoic and if not to, rarely, to the Precambrian or archeozoico.
topics typical hissing between teeth (that are often more excited when the story can also fly across the room to finish the plate of cake) are:
- incidents, from minor ones to those that follows the drug-induced coma;
- separations and divorces, topped by the tale of erotic sex stories, that are the envy to the best writer and hard ending with a moral kind of socio-cultural history on the degeneration of morals of young people today;
- the disease (highly appreciated those involving long agonies). Grannies I've heard tell the story clinic, with a precision unmatched by medical records. But the phenomenal thing is that this grannies in an evening browsing the pathological events of at least five subjects, so as to create a work of hearing that if have written and published, they do not deserve the Nobel, is a valuable statistical tool for modern medicine. In short, the grandmothers have a primary responsibility, the ability to bring bad luck more than any Voodoo ritual , developing in these hypochondriacal syndrome, which causes them to require hospital admission before midnight, creating crowding in the emergency room, besieged by a blossoming of symptoms like heart attack, stroke, instant bilateral pneumonia with shortness of breath deep, up to incontinence style infant.
- incidents, from minor ones to those that follows the drug-induced coma;
- separations and divorces, topped by the tale of erotic sex stories, that are the envy to the best writer and hard ending with a moral kind of socio-cultural history on the degeneration of morals of young people today;
- the disease (highly appreciated those involving long agonies). Grannies I've heard tell the story clinic, with a precision unmatched by medical records. But the phenomenal thing is that this grannies in an evening browsing the pathological events of at least five subjects, so as to create a work of hearing that if have written and published, they do not deserve the Nobel, is a valuable statistical tool for modern medicine. In short, the grandmothers have a primary responsibility, the ability to bring bad luck more than any Voodoo ritual , developing in these hypochondriacal syndrome, which causes them to require hospital admission before midnight, creating crowding in the emergency room, besieged by a blossoming of symptoms like heart attack, stroke, instant bilateral pneumonia with shortness of breath deep, up to incontinence style infant.
2) area of \u200b\u200bthe gambling den, where are all the patriarchs and adolescents newly initiated as it was for women, except for the escapees First, to make a joke have been swallowed up by the matriarchs grandmothers, and they left carelessly unattended nest egg on the table, which of course is evaporated on their return ... but both the victim will not see them, because, as mentioned, by midnight after the disease was yet another story hospitalized until Epiphany. The casino
reveals the true role and destiny of every component of male relatives. and constitutes a metaphor. Uncle successful entrepreneur will simulate the repeated loss of the pot for several hands of seven and a half brother to the benefit of unemployed, who dream of social revenge will concentrate on growing, the money won so far, finding himself at the end of the evening to have all returned with interest at the parent member of Confindustria, having to mortgage the next six-month layoff. Only then will the relative entrepreneur, with magnanimous gesture will announce that it assumed in his own company, having, however, traded the former first mortgage with the salary of the layoffs, which he therefore did not will pay ... short in-law will be one of the many cases of worker "unemployed cash integrated," while Uncle contractor will pass through the benefactor of the evening, as well as philosopher, as it will, during the family reunion, quoted several times the motto of De Cubertin ( the important thing is to participate ... otherwise if others do not participate as you win).
Then there is the real benefactor, or the loser in the game, knowing that to be so does not play, but in a certain moment of the evening, will be involved in the game from the relative who, without him it would close the evening with a of making it big winner is drawn. I can testify, with my person, the actual occurrence of such events. Already aware of my bad luck in adolescence to the game, in one of several parent meetings, I was a delegate to the game by an uncle, to replace him temporarily due to physiological event. They played with the "beast" and I promised myself to care. But the fate of "cheating" in this case really, in just two trim my hands in the first ace and three, even in the second, ace, king and three (yes). Results for two shifts every two coats of a beast and I won more than one hundred and fifty thousand dollars. I might try again with the money for my whole life, but I will never have the face that my uncle had to return the physiological event: happy but sorry for having listened to the Marcuzzi in the fight against constipation from eating too much and Activia otherwise could become a millionaire.
reveals the true role and destiny of every component of male relatives. and constitutes a metaphor. Uncle successful entrepreneur will simulate the repeated loss of the pot for several hands of seven and a half brother to the benefit of unemployed, who dream of social revenge will concentrate on growing, the money won so far, finding himself at the end of the evening to have all returned with interest at the parent member of Confindustria, having to mortgage the next six-month layoff. Only then will the relative entrepreneur, with magnanimous gesture will announce that it assumed in his own company, having, however, traded the former first mortgage with the salary of the layoffs, which he therefore did not will pay ... short in-law will be one of the many cases of worker "unemployed cash integrated," while Uncle contractor will pass through the benefactor of the evening, as well as philosopher, as it will, during the family reunion, quoted several times the motto of De Cubertin ( the important thing is to participate ... otherwise if others do not participate as you win).
Then there is the real benefactor, or the loser in the game, knowing that to be so does not play, but in a certain moment of the evening, will be involved in the game from the relative who, without him it would close the evening with a of making it big winner is drawn. I can testify, with my person, the actual occurrence of such events. Already aware of my bad luck in adolescence to the game, in one of several parent meetings, I was a delegate to the game by an uncle, to replace him temporarily due to physiological event. They played with the "beast" and I promised myself to care. But the fate of "cheating" in this case really, in just two trim my hands in the first ace and three, even in the second, ace, king and three (yes). Results for two shifts every two coats of a beast and I won more than one hundred and fifty thousand dollars. I might try again with the money for my whole life, but I will never have the face that my uncle had to return the physiological event: happy but sorry for having listened to the Marcuzzi in the fight against constipation from eating too much and Activia otherwise could become a millionaire.
3) lonely bored area: The area of \u200b\u200brelevance of this relation is constituted by a strip of transhumance that goes from the table, laden with nougat, panettone, panforti, pine nuts and Pinocchio, until the television. Indeed this area is one where persists longer, because the bored trying to cure boredom by zapping. In practice, he spends the night in the remote masturbate. Even the TV enjoy it, proof is that, like any lover, at the end of the relationship of zapping, you can see TVs that take up smoking. These parents, if they have the connection with the parable, in the New Year's Eve 24 New Year's can do, for a time zone, because by zapping you connect with every country in the world. In doing so, the apparent age of these relatives in their twenties, in truth it is as if they were centenarians, living to the end of each year, 24 more years.
4) mixed zone : is not calcium, but the area occupied by employees from mobile phones. We talk about the mixed zone because they are located in any place where there is field. Thus assumes various positions, including:
- Statue of Perseus by Cellini (see link), in which the mobile phone replaces the head of Medusa;
- top dog, that is, with half his head and body under the table sit up and pointed out that from this spot;
- layer clothes, until mid-basin resting on the sill of the attic, with the rest of the body, eerily, in line parallel to the road with one arm and hand stretched even more outside, to challenge the phone, waiting for the call announcement by vibration. When This comes, as you see them flickering in the throes of an epileptic seizure, unable to return with half of the body at home, losing the call.
5) area occult adultery, which is the hub for all those relatives who live in these family gatherings, in the throes of withdrawal symptoms, unable to attend, these days, his lover. All these damn, you see them wandering around all the areas mentioned above, ready and alert to receive any signal on a call or SMS.
Too many and various are the incidents to tell, but some deserve a few lines:
a) case no signal abstinence. I quote the most singular case, that of my cousin, married, who lived in a house impenetrable to any sign. At every family gathering, attended at least one text message from his lover, who lived in the same neighborhood. In the absence of signal in the house, he was able to train your dog during walks. The dog was now able to pick up the phone in his mouth, doing the usual round of at least three minutes and come back with the phone. It had been over the years, trained to go, gradually, farther and farther away, because the text message never came, and thought that his cousin had just three minutes for hope in the arrival of the letter. Eventually, the dog had been taught to get up to the house of the lover. The fact is that even had a dog lover, a young poodle who lived It was in the garden so that the dog of my cousin, spent more time in the back and once even forgot the phone in the garden lover. In short, SMS never arrived, and while his cousin, in those days you had to abstain from the relationship, her poodle dog trumpet in the round. Animal wisdom, not ever hinder the relationship between similar technology, but live them face to face;
b) the adulterer fearful. This is getting those relatives who, however, many text messages and calls by the lover, in those days were forced to enter the vibration. You see them sitting at the gaming tables, in front of tables laden with a gorgeous look incompetent, because they make one mistake: place the phone in the front pocket of his trousers ... and you know the vibration causes some tremor. On these occasions we see the body of a true lover of the most poor, who suffer from premature ejaculation and in addition to the lack of success with parner adulterer, spend these evenings glued to a chair, panting, whining, victim sweats, telling everyone to influence the gut, but in truth they are, at least, the twentieth orgasm. The female version is made up of women with the gift of multiple orgasm, but the end result is both out of these family gatherings exhausted and incapable of sexual intercourse for the rest of the year. A tip for parents: If you find the problem and try to remove the phone from his pocket careful. If the relative is still equipped with old-fashioned phones (remember those really big) careful not to miss! once stuck his hand in the pocket, the risk is more challenging than the phone, in which case you will feel the vibration continue, but the relative increase in the compensation whimper. It must be said that even with the most modern mobile phones, the problem persists, trusting in good supply because of the relative, but you may find its minimal instrumentation sex. Attention then relative to the woman, my uncle tried to respond to the call on the phone in-law, without removing it from his pocket (for privacy). As the one of those flip phone, the uncle was trying to put your fingers on the crack, creating the cover, to enlarge and open it, but the spot is not explained, because the phone continued to vibrate, despite the opening of the crack, while His sister appeared increasingly in ecstasy vibration. He said he knew it was wrong only after a long gap (not all the relatives, however, have believed);
c) adulterous the brave . In contrast the previous one, this relation is not afraid to answer calls, because it is able to respond to simulate conversations with a completely different person, concealing the conversation taking place with her lover. The problem is that to pretend different types of interview according to the relative who is to pass there at that time. So, when it passes in-law or mother-in-law can pretend to talk to the boss or a colleague, his wife, if passed, must immediately change the subject, pretending to talk with fellow fishing, cycling or otherwise, given that his wife is aware of being a husband to have nothing, not even when it deals with work in the office. Thus, these individuals are real Pico della Mirandola's call, expressed in terms of competence during the same conversation, in which past, materials such as accounting, sports, and science, until the literature and the arts and expressive usually figurative;
d) the semi brave but afraid means. E 'category median of the previous two. For these calls and incoming text messages have developed the vibration, but to avoid unconscious masturbation and orgasmic exhaustion, anticipate the lover by sending them text messages. The fact is that the fear of being discovered, makes the selection of the wrong entry in the directory. So it is that:
- the adulterous woman, send lover, had to send the SMS to a friend Councillor in the culinary field, text: "you were right the fish bigger is better, but to make it fit I had to oil it very well. " On the contrary, friend with the sms comes in the culinary arts that was meant lover, text: "Give at least one good purpose for the new year: stop trying to do too many things that you can not then, if I were a restaurant that wants to propose some kind of menu, but simple things you can do better , and avoid junk food so that only come out ";
- the adulterous man send the sms to my grandmother who was destined lover " I miss you, but do not worry, old Van Wilder ... soon to be located and I will then take off the rust accumulated in this time. On the contrary, the sms will lover who was destined to grandmother "I hope you are better, I noticed that the last time you could not hardly move and stay in all positions. Do not you break down you are still young, it is too early to give in to arthritis.
In short, the Epiphany today robs us of all the holidays, but for some, maybe it's true liberation.
4) mixed zone : is not calcium, but the area occupied by employees from mobile phones. We talk about the mixed zone because they are located in any place where there is field. Thus assumes various positions, including:
- Statue of Perseus by Cellini (see link), in which the mobile phone replaces the head of Medusa;
- top dog, that is, with half his head and body under the table sit up and pointed out that from this spot;
- layer clothes, until mid-basin resting on the sill of the attic, with the rest of the body, eerily, in line parallel to the road with one arm and hand stretched even more outside, to challenge the phone, waiting for the call announcement by vibration. When This comes, as you see them flickering in the throes of an epileptic seizure, unable to return with half of the body at home, losing the call.
5) area occult adultery, which is the hub for all those relatives who live in these family gatherings, in the throes of withdrawal symptoms, unable to attend, these days, his lover. All these damn, you see them wandering around all the areas mentioned above, ready and alert to receive any signal on a call or SMS.
Too many and various are the incidents to tell, but some deserve a few lines:
a) case no signal abstinence. I quote the most singular case, that of my cousin, married, who lived in a house impenetrable to any sign. At every family gathering, attended at least one text message from his lover, who lived in the same neighborhood. In the absence of signal in the house, he was able to train your dog during walks. The dog was now able to pick up the phone in his mouth, doing the usual round of at least three minutes and come back with the phone. It had been over the years, trained to go, gradually, farther and farther away, because the text message never came, and thought that his cousin had just three minutes for hope in the arrival of the letter. Eventually, the dog had been taught to get up to the house of the lover. The fact is that even had a dog lover, a young poodle who lived It was in the garden so that the dog of my cousin, spent more time in the back and once even forgot the phone in the garden lover. In short, SMS never arrived, and while his cousin, in those days you had to abstain from the relationship, her poodle dog trumpet in the round. Animal wisdom, not ever hinder the relationship between similar technology, but live them face to face;
b) the adulterer fearful. This is getting those relatives who, however, many text messages and calls by the lover, in those days were forced to enter the vibration. You see them sitting at the gaming tables, in front of tables laden with a gorgeous look incompetent, because they make one mistake: place the phone in the front pocket of his trousers ... and you know the vibration causes some tremor. On these occasions we see the body of a true lover of the most poor, who suffer from premature ejaculation and in addition to the lack of success with parner adulterer, spend these evenings glued to a chair, panting, whining, victim sweats, telling everyone to influence the gut, but in truth they are, at least, the twentieth orgasm. The female version is made up of women with the gift of multiple orgasm, but the end result is both out of these family gatherings exhausted and incapable of sexual intercourse for the rest of the year. A tip for parents: If you find the problem and try to remove the phone from his pocket careful. If the relative is still equipped with old-fashioned phones (remember those really big) careful not to miss! once stuck his hand in the pocket, the risk is more challenging than the phone, in which case you will feel the vibration continue, but the relative increase in the compensation whimper. It must be said that even with the most modern mobile phones, the problem persists, trusting in good supply because of the relative, but you may find its minimal instrumentation sex. Attention then relative to the woman, my uncle tried to respond to the call on the phone in-law, without removing it from his pocket (for privacy). As the one of those flip phone, the uncle was trying to put your fingers on the crack, creating the cover, to enlarge and open it, but the spot is not explained, because the phone continued to vibrate, despite the opening of the crack, while His sister appeared increasingly in ecstasy vibration. He said he knew it was wrong only after a long gap (not all the relatives, however, have believed);
c) adulterous the brave . In contrast the previous one, this relation is not afraid to answer calls, because it is able to respond to simulate conversations with a completely different person, concealing the conversation taking place with her lover. The problem is that to pretend different types of interview according to the relative who is to pass there at that time. So, when it passes in-law or mother-in-law can pretend to talk to the boss or a colleague, his wife, if passed, must immediately change the subject, pretending to talk with fellow fishing, cycling or otherwise, given that his wife is aware of being a husband to have nothing, not even when it deals with work in the office. Thus, these individuals are real Pico della Mirandola's call, expressed in terms of competence during the same conversation, in which past, materials such as accounting, sports, and science, until the literature and the arts and expressive usually figurative;
d) the semi brave but afraid means. E 'category median of the previous two. For these calls and incoming text messages have developed the vibration, but to avoid unconscious masturbation and orgasmic exhaustion, anticipate the lover by sending them text messages. The fact is that the fear of being discovered, makes the selection of the wrong entry in the directory. So it is that:
- the adulterous woman, send lover, had to send the SMS to a friend Councillor in the culinary field, text: "you were right the fish bigger is better, but to make it fit I had to oil it very well. " On the contrary, friend with the sms comes in the culinary arts that was meant lover, text: "Give at least one good purpose for the new year: stop trying to do too many things that you can not then, if I were a restaurant that wants to propose some kind of menu, but simple things you can do better , and avoid junk food so that only come out ";
- the adulterous man send the sms to my grandmother who was destined lover " I miss you, but do not worry, old Van Wilder ... soon to be located and I will then take off the rust accumulated in this time. On the contrary, the sms will lover who was destined to grandmother "I hope you are better, I noticed that the last time you could not hardly move and stay in all positions. Do not you break down you are still young, it is too early to give in to arthritis.
In short, the Epiphany today robs us of all the holidays, but for some, maybe it's true liberation.
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